Opinionated Women
By Edison Mellor-Goldman
Why talk about politics? A lot of people choose not to go there with boyfriends or girlfriends because they see it as a way to generate unnecessary divisions and start arguments. It’s much the same way with music or sports, which are both integral to many peoples’ lives. It would be a catastrophe to find out your significant other strongly disagrees with you on something that’s such a huge part of who you are, right? You wouldn’t take your hot date to the abandoned minefield if you could go to Pinkberry instead, so why wouldn’t you also skirt dangerous conversation topics in favor of something pleasanter – for her sake?
For me, there’s something scarier than finding out that your girl is a Celtics fan, and that’s finding out that she doesn’t know why. Scarier than discovering the one you care for has always loved Nickelback is learning that she never really gave a thought to music, and scarier than learning your girlfriend is a diehard NRA member is her saying “Oh, let’s not talk about gun control laws, that stuff’s sooo boring”. That’s why the political questions (or anything important really) can be monumental for me to broach with a girl I don’t know too well; I’m not worried that a disagreement will drive a wedge between us, I just fear that she might not have an opinion on anything.
Do ladies believe that the sexiest “mojo” one can have is not fire or ice, but the lukewarm water in the middle? Or are they just playing it safe, hedging their bets so as not to cause any sort of confrontation? A woman who shows a lack of interest in a pivotal conversation point could be trying to hide her lack of depth – or subtly trying to steer the conversation elsewhere to pre-empt a possible disagreement that has been foreseen by soothsayers, ala Minority Report. As awesome as a pre-emptive de-argumentation unit of beautiful women sounds, I think the answer might be simpler: Women are convinced men don’t like opinionated women.
One could say “Gee, wonder what gave them that impression?” if one was an idiot. Or, one could bring to mind how, even in this modern age when a lot of women are told to be empowered, women aren’t taught that having their own thoughts and beliefs is the only real way to get there. Has anybody ever heard of a lady who became a “strong, independent woman” by just willing it to be so? It takes the conviction that can only come from trusting in your own perspectives and angles on life.
There’s another perk, too — opinions are sexy. There, you’ve heard it from a man. I’m not emasculated when I talk to a woman who seems more informed about a certain issue, because I know I have thoughts on other topics that will similarly broaden her horizons. Any man who is that easily emasculated is probably not a good emotional investment. Relationships should be about growth, and we grow when faced with adversity and different perspectives. Couples and friends stagnate when any disagreement on something becomes all about asserting dominance rather than learning. So if that’s a problem you find yourself with, you probably shouldn’t be dating him anyways. There are few things sexier than a woman who knows what she’s talking about and isn’t afraid to say it when the point gets raised, and a disagreement between two reasonable people shouldn’t be a relationship end-all.
For the record, I’m dating a Celtics fan and things are going quite well.
