The Fear Girls

Month: April, 2012

‘Women’s Magazines’

 By Chloe Crossman

Nearly every woman I know will occasionally purchase what is known as a “woman’s magazine.” Some of us have subscriptions, eagerly awaiting the monthly arrival of those glossy, perfumed pages. Some of us buy them as a means to mindlessly pass an hour or two, perhaps feeling a twinge of embarrassment at the check-out stand as we fork over five dollars and anticipate reading all about “This Spring’s To-Die-For Wedges.” Myself, I fall into the latter category. To me, buying these publications is akin to devouring an enormous, freshly glazed apple fritter: it may be sinfully indulgent – perhaps so much so as to become nauseating – but once it’s over with, all I seem to be able to think about is the circumference of my thighs.

I’m not saying that this kind of behavior is something one should feel guilty about; much like cramming your face full of fried dough, picking up a Cosmopolitan or a Vogue here and there is just fine on occasion, so long as one is able to maintain a certain level of perspective while doing so. The reality of it is this: these magazines embody everything that we as intelligent, empowered women consciously fight against on a daily basis. They cater to the idea that women should value appearance over substance, please our partner before pleasing ourselves, and that the best way to achieve fulfillment in life is to make sure that our cleavage is displayed with just the right amount of visibility that we avoid being branded as “slutty” while maintaining enough sex appeal to keep us from being viewed as “butch.”

These are, of course, categories that women rarely intentionally apply to one another; rather, they are two ends of a spectrum that have been almost entirely crafted by men, and nurtured by the American media to a point that it becomes ingrained in our heads that we must remain steadfastly in the center, with just the right amount of blush on our cheeks. These contradicting dualities run rampant throughout women’s magazines. On one page, a bold headline proclaims that the author has discovered the very best new way to Trim That Excess Belly Fat By Swimsuit Season!, while another tells the story of a sad, young woman and her battle with Anorexia and Bulimia: Silent Killers. Towards the front, an article may detail the Top Ten Ways To Drive Your Man Wild, while in the back lies a piece on the importance of Putting Yourself First: A Woman’s Guide To Being Single…And FABULOUS! The articles are maddeningly incongruous, confusing and generally fail to serve much of a purpose beyond informing us what shade of nail polish will provide the proper balance of edgy and chic.

Within these same, slippery sheets of paper, we are bombarded with opinions, pictures, and examples of how to be perfectly, “effortlessly” feminine, all laid out in the authoritative form of printed media. As any woman knows, being conventionally feminine is anything but effortless. Hence, the advertisements for hair removal products, creams that claim to banish cellulite, and styling tools that promise to deliver sultry locks, free of frizz. What they are selling is unattainable; like it or not, beneath our perfumes, lotions, waxes, and dyes, we are the same, hairy, smelly, aging mammals as our male counterparts.

But it is not the average, twenty-something and up woman that is the most affected by these images and articles. It is the teenage girl who scans the page of Jeans To Fit Any Body Type yet fails to find her own, it is the middle schooler who finds a role model in the likes of the Kardashian sisters and their vapid, materialistic drivel, simply because they are portrayed as the definition of beauty, albeit completely void of character, and it is the young adolescent who sees food as an enemy, gobbling up any advice she can get on how to shed just a few pesky pounds, while keeping a mental note of every evil little calorie that she consumes. These are the girls that we all were, in some form or another, and that some of us still are.

There is no escaping the media and its influences, so instead we must remember to pace ourselves. Though it may at times be fun to turn the rational brain down for a while and amuse ourselves with color swatches and hair tutorials, these fluffy periodicals are the jelly donuts of literature; if we allow ourselves to consume them with too much frequency, we will become intellectually lethargic, driven by a need to refuel our damaged confidence with another dose of sugary garbage. In short, the next time you find yourself turning that first page, make sure you’ve fed your self esteem for the day, and remember that junk food is nothing without that grain of salt.

Recommended Reading: The Girl Who Was On Fire

 By Caitlin Clarkson

I, like nearly everyone else it seems, has been caught up in the Hunger Games fever. While the film was finally knocked from first place at this weekend’s box office, it’s already grossed a more than respectable $365.9 million. I’ve been delighted to bond with several people over our mutual fondness for the series. But now that a month has passed since the film’s debut, and the release date of Catching Fire has yet to be announced, what is a fan to do? There are only so many times you can argue the sparse merits of Peeta vs. Gale, or philosophize over the fact that by being excited by the film, we are placed in the same position as the bloodthirsty Capitol citizens.

     For those of you craving a more thorough analysis of the world of The Hunger Games, here is my recommendation: the completely engrossing The Girl Who Was On Fire: Your Favorite Authors on Suzanne Collins’ Hunger Games Trilogy. The book is made up of 16* essays edited by Leah Wilson and focuses on a wide variety of topics, from stylist Cinna’s role in making the people of Panem notice and root for our heroine Katniss (in Terri Clark’s “Crime of Fashion”), to how modern science has already given us a world full of muttations (in Cara Lockwood’s “Not So Weird Science”).

     As someone who has a tendency to read too quickly, I encourage any of you planning on picking up The Girl Who Was On Fire to read only an essay or two a day. Nearly each one has enough content for you to mull over for quite a while. My favorite essay in the book, “Your Heart is a Weapon the Size of your Fist” by Mary Borsellino, has been present in the back of my mind for the past week.

     In her essay, Borsellino discusses how the villain of The Hunger Games trilogy, President Snow, sees Katniss as a girl who either is in love, or is a rebel. What President Snow fails to realize is that in the post-apocalyptic world of Panem, loving someone and showing that love is literally revolutionary. “With every interview and appearance,” explains Borsellino, “[Katniss] declares herself loyal to something other than the Capitol. And love has already proved to be more powerful than the Capitol, because both of District 12’s tributes have survived the Games.”

     Borsellino goes on to compare The Hunger Games to other stories where to love is to rebel: V for Vendetta, and more interestingly (and one of my personal favorites), George Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four. While the love between Winston and Julia in Nineteen Eighty-Four failed, the love Katniss felt for Peeta and Prim drove her onwards and is eventually what made her triumph in the end.

The piece of graffiti Borsellino’s essay is named after.

     Not every essay is an absolute gem. Some are perhaps a bit shallow; one or two failed to  wholly capture my attention. But there is more than enough substance in this slim book to keep a fan satisfied for quite a while. Personally, I think Jennifer Lynn Barnes’ breakdown of how the Peeta vs. Gale debate may actually be about which side of Katniss the reader prefers (a girl who loves and cares for others vs. a revolutionary) is worth the price of the book alone. Her throwaway line about how we should really be Team Buttercup is just icing on the cake.

*Be sure to buy the newer “movie edition,” as the first edition has only 13 essays. I bought the first edition, and am genuinely upset about not being able to read Brent Hartinger’s delightfully titled essay “Did the Third Book Suck?”.

How The Golden Girls Taught Me About Homosexuality

 By Nusha Ashjaee

I watched too much TV growing up.  I don’t think I can remember a time when it wasn’t on accompanying breakfast, homework, fighting with my brother, or, really, just watching the damn thing. It’s where I developed my sense of morals. My mother was always there to offer sound advice, but nothing ever quite stuck with me unless it was coming from a talking sponge or Will Smith. Such was my attention span.

However, there were some topics my mother was too uncomfortable with to bring up with me, one of which was homosexuality. It would be unfair to say that this was because she was homophobic; my mother grew up in a time and culture where sex in general was a taboo subject and it was something you just dealt with on your wedding night. If talking about straight sex was too much for her, then gay sex was definitely off the table. I was going to have to turn to television for that lesson, and it was one I learned from The Golden Girls.

Running from 1985 to 1992, The Golden Girls was a sitcom following the lives of four single, of-age ladies living together in Miami: simple Rose, man-hungry Blanche, uptight Dorothy, and the sharp-tongued Sophia.  Aside from Sophia’s wit and Betty White’s fantastic comedic timing, the show can be best known for being a gay-friendly series and for presenting views towards LGBTQ rights that were decades ahead of its time. Though I was born just shortly before its cancellation, I still enjoyed watching reruns with my older sister. Most of the jokes went over my head—particularly the sexual innuendos—but I always liked Sophia’s moxie no matter what she said.

One weekend we were in my sister’s room, watching this episode. I couldn’t have been older than seven:

Again, the jokes went over my head (Why did Dorothy cover her mother’s mouth like that?  Who’s Butch and Sundance?), but so did the premise itself, leaving me as confused as Rose. All I understood was that Blanche’s brother, Clayton, was announcing his plans to get married, but I couldn’t see to whom, and I couldn’t see why Blanche was so upset over it. Where was his girlfriend? Why wouldn’t she be there with him for this kind of news? Luckily, my sister was there to explain.

Me: Wait. So…who’s getting married?
Sister: Blanche’s brother.
Me: And that guy?
Sister: Yes.
Me: To who? Where are their girlfriends?
Sister: What?
Me: They’re having a double wedding. Right?
Sister: Umm…
Me: What?

My sister then explained to me that the two men on the TV show weren’t going to marry their girlfriends, but, rather, were going to marry each other.

Me: But they’re both men!
Sister: So? Sometimes men marry men and women marry women.
Me: You can do that?!

She had no idea how much this news excited me. Up until that point, I thought my choices for a husband were limited to the boys on the playground who picked their noses and touched their eyeballs. I didn’t know I had this second option. This was perfect: I could just marry my best friend and have babies with her, maybe even adopt a kitten. I wouldn’t have to worry about any boy and his germs. This wasn’t a plan she seemed to be quite on board with, but I figured there was still time for her to warm up to the idea. Of course, once I went through puberty, I learned it didn’t quite work that way and that I was going to be stuck with boys.

Still, despite my initial confusion with the concept of homosexuality, the moral of the episode was not lost on me and it is one that still resonates with me today. While it took eight or so years for me to be able to confidently laugh at the jokes, the message stuck to my conscience. For that, I have to express my love and admiration for The Golden Girls, not only for introducing me to the topic of homosexuality when no one else was quite ready to, but for also acting as my personal moral compass when it comes to civil rights. And it didn’t hurt that all of it came from an adorable, smart-mouthed grandmother.

Girl Love

 By Sophia Rowland

I’ve mentioned before a certain 14-year-old friend of mine whom I’ve known for forever. She’s clever, beautiful, and fun, and of course she’s miserable. That’s because from roughly ages 1116, everyone is more or less miserable. Pre-teen and teen years are just awful, especially for clever, beautiful girls. When this certain 14-year-old friend of mine tells me about her problems with friends I want to say, “It gets better. There will come a time in your life when all the women you meet will stay loyal and true and not sacrifice everything you two have for a boy.” But how true would that be if I told her that?

A few weeks ago I went to a party with a boy I’m seeing. For a while I was the only girl there, surrounded by boys in their 20s. Finally, a lovely Russian girl enters and we eye each other warily. It is a natural instinct. Will she be as friendly and as kind as I’ve been told by the boys? Or will she just appear to be so and actually be a mean little thing? It turned out she was great, and we ended up discussing this very subject: how girls can be so cruel to each other, so competitive, and that even now in our 20s, it is hard to tell when meeting a new girl if she’s nice or if she’s out for blood.

I hold on tightly to my friends. I’ve been guilty in the past of sacrificing girlfriends for boys or even for other girlfriends who at the time seemed better or cooler than my original friend. Despite the confidence I’ve gained since graduating middle school, high school, and college, I am still insecure when a girl at a party gives me a look that says “Get out of here” or starts grinding on a guy I was talking to. My reaction is a little different now – I don’t run to the bathroom crying – but it still bothers me.

I’m positive this competitiveness has a lot to do with the fact that some women (or at least those who tear down other women) are validated by the attention they receive from men and that our society encourages this. Often times teenage girls will out of the blue make a comment about needing a boyfriend. Not wanting, but needing. And no matter what is said, this need will not be satisfied until said boyfriend materializes. But how can we blame them for this? I know I was exactly the same way when I was a teenager. And it took having several boyfriends for me to realize that the hole in my existence was not going to be filled by a 16-year-old telling me “I love you, Sophia.”

I think we all have little gaps in our souls, but we ourselves need to fill them. We validate our own existence. But honestly, if there ever was a person who filled that gap for me, it was the amazing, clever, beautiful and fun female friends who have stayed by my side, been loyal to me, and not sacrificed our friendship for a guy. These female friends are more precious to me than any boy or man I have ever been with. Because relationships come and go, they change you, help you build what you want out of love. But the truest form of love more often comes from the girls who sit with you through all of that. Who have seen you at your worse but despite this, love you for exactly who and what you are.

If only I had realized this when I was 14.

“Be a gentleman, and call me sometime” – a conversation with poet Zoe Claster

I recently had the privilege to sit down with poet Zoe Claster. When I first met Zoe in high school she was writing poetry, something that a lot of teen girls do. But Zoe’s poetry is special – it always has been. After running off to Columbia in Chicago, Zoe was able to meet more like-minded and talented Poets and got into the scene. A couple years ago she read me “Gentleman Caller” on the phone and I knew it was gold. Reading it again, or even better, watching the video of Zoe read it, makes my heart flutter every time. She has a way of getting to the real grit of the early stages of love. This poem evokes a lot of different feelings for me, but it hits particularly hard now as I explore the world of dating, one night stands or meeting someone you really connect with – and then nothing comes of it. Without realizing it, Zoe has written a poem and aimed it right at my soul; the soul of a desperately cynical hopeless romantic. — Sophia

Audio Interview:

Zoe’s Live Performance:

Gentleman Caller 
By Zoe Claster

When you called
There was a disconnect,
As if someone on the other line
Were feeding you dialogue
In a foreign tongue.

And when I tried to mention it,
I could hear your smile
On the other end
As you tried to talk a big game
While throwing words around
The way a monkey throws his own
Dirty deeds.

I know that sometimes
You like to wear
A suit of nonchalance,
And puff out your chest
Like a rooster with criminal intent.

You’re tough. And proud.
But when you shed your skin,
You’re more like
A new born deer
In the middle
Of rush hour traffic.

And that caught me by surprise,
Because I always thought
That tough guys
Saved their rawest moments
For the showers.

I listened for a busy signal
Or a chance to call you back,
Because I had been dressed
In my heavy layers
Of thick skin
That I wear through
Harsh winters
Of heartless love affairs.

Where men use hooks
Made out of formal pleasantries
To tug at the inside of my cheeks
And reel me into their
Late night fantasies.
And I couldn’t stand
Listening to yet another pompous
Answering machine.

But you
Are not like the others.

Sure,

You might have the devil

On your tongue,
But you are the quivering lip
Before the first burst of
Laughter.
And I am stunned,

I am speechless
By the way your hands
Ask permission to touch.

You “please”
And “may I”
The way my curves
Respond to your fingertips
When you trace the cracks in my back,
And I can’t help
But whisper “thank you”
For treating me
Like a pilgrimage
Rather of conquered territory.

Our voices line up
With our limbs
As we wrap around each other
Like a french braid.
We kiss. Hard.
Like you’re trying to
Confess your sins
Into the outline of my mouth
There are no pretenses left
No need for forced language
Filled with remorse
No need to “fake it”

No dial tone.

Later on,
I am left lying
In a bed of stolen covers.
Watching the waves
Underneath your chest
Rise and fall like the calm
Before a storm

You say “come here”
And throw me across your body
Like a puppet
With no strings attached.

You harken me back
To a time of housewives
Who let their hair down
For the gentleman
Who calls her by her real name.

And maybe,

Maybe later on

We’d laugh the sun awake.

And maybe,

I’d cook breakfast
In a slip dress
While coiling the curly wire

Of the landline
In between my fingertips

Knowing that this:

This is a conversation.

I am yours.
All encompassed.
Just because you asked nicely.

Just because,
You remind me of the buried notion
That chivalry might not be dead
But instead has shitty reception.

I know you don’t like the use the phone much,

But if you get a chance

Be a gentleman

And call me sometime.

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